Monday, July 03, 2006

Things to do when you're incensed: Don't gleef!

Yes this is Sunday's post. On a Monday - even. Couldn't post it Sunday, 'cause when I read the subject of today's post I gleefed on a faint and then strategically chose to believe it was some nutty net satire. Perhaps the work of a Stewart, a Black, or even a Colbert. It was cowardly move, motivated by a need to protect what's left of my fragile sanity. But enough of that, let's get on with the rabble rousing.

My fellow Netizens! Time to start praying to St Isidore of Seville, proposed patron saint of internet users (and not to be confused with the other St Isidore whose province is apparently farming - don'tcha know); and while you're at it throw a shout out for an intercession or two from St Jude, you know the lost causes dude, 'cause by the gods (just covering my bases) we gonna need all the help we can get. Wherefore my hysteria?

Well, never mind which side of the network neutrality debate you fall on, and my stance has already been vociferously stated; i.-effing-e. decidedly PRO keeping the internet not effed with by greedy ISPs; we should all be seriously perturbed that the anti-net neutrality juggernaut is being helmed by one Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska (R).
I just the other day got, an internet was sent by my staff at 10 o'clock in the morning on Friday and I just got it yesterday. Why?

Because it got tangled up with all these things going on the internet commercially.

So you want to talk about the consumer? Let's talk about you and me. We use this internet to communicate and we aren't using it for commercial purposes...

They want to deliver vast amounts of information over the internet. And again, the internet is not something you just dump something on. It's not a truck.

It's a series of tubes.

And if you don't understand those tubes can be filled and if they are filled, when you put your message in, it gets in line and its going to be delayed by anyone that puts into that tube enormous amounts of material, enormous amounts of material.
(Link via Boing Boing and a bunch of other worthy sites)

Excuse me while I quiet a reflexive choke of disbelief. Right. So "an internet" is a "series of tubes" which one can "get", even though it sometimes takes like way too long to "get", but it's not like "a truck" so... AAAAARHGH! I can't believe you Americans are actually paying this man!


I'm okay...

Yup, this is the self-same long serving legislative genius of The Bridge to Nowhere fame, who wants to drill for oil in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. That wee spiel of his sounds almost Pythonian, which would be funny 'cept this ain't no comedy sketch were talking about here.

Now I know what some of you all are saying, "But damn it dorna! I'm not Catholic, and more to the point, I'm an atheist/pagan/buddist/islamist/yadda yadda." Oh yeah? What of it? I'm not Catholic either. Atheists shmaythesists! Looky here, it's time you lot pull your weight. And so what if no one's listening? Who cares? This is serious business. I'm telling you, it's time for a pray-in. We could podcast it. Think of it as a PSYOP. At very least it'll scare the bejesus out of the over-weening trice christy neo/proto/conservative/regressive fascistically capitalist lot.

5 Ninjas, 1 Kitten and a Fifth of Vodka!