Monday, July 17, 2006

Things to do (or not) when you want a man...

Now, now, stop yer snickering; this apparently serious business to some females. This isn't Cosmo, so I'm not going to pitch the usual crap about getting in touch with your inner fellator. Sometimes you just have to grid yourself, swallow (poor choice of words - maybe) your pride and ask for one. Seriously. Just plain ask someone; not anyone mind, show some discretion; whether they got a spare man worthy of recommendation.

Take Mary Elizabeth Cook for example. Back in 1949, this English rose (ok, I'm guessing she was an English rose) "an attractive brunette of 29" wrote a letter to the Mayor of New York asking for a husband. No word on how the mayor fared as Lizzy's improvised shadchen; but the point is, the girl took action. Awfully progressive of her, that. Which might go some way in explaining why she was still unattached at 29, but that's just more speculation on my part.

But let's face it, which of us actually has time for letter writing campaigns these days? This is the age of microwave dinners and text messaging, after all. So what's a broad jonesing for a Friday-night hook-up to do? Well...
A woman from Aloha, Oregon, called 911 looking for the deputy that responded to a noise complaint made by her neighbors last month.

The woman called 911 and asked for the same deputy to return and told the 911 operator: "I just thought he was cute. I'm 45 years old, and I'd just like to meet him again, but I don't know how to go about doing that without calling 911."

Now I'm not saying it was a good idea... But she gets 9 out of 10 for originality.

5 Ninjas, 1 Kitten and a Fifth of Vodka!