Saturday, April 15, 2006

Nooky Handbook: Holy-effing-ouch!


You idiot, pasta is for eating!

It's been a while since I posted one of these; but when Sideshow posted "Going where no object should have gone before" earlier today; well, I thought it deserved repetition.

This Nooky Tip falls under the "Someone really didn't have to tell you not to do this, did they?" sub-heading. It's a vid, and took a span to load; no explaining the inner workings of my ISP; so just click the pick and hang in there a sec for - wait for it - "Embarrassing Sex Accidents".(Clip may also be found HERE.)

And while we're at it, this lot of torture pleasure devices give me a turn as well. I mean really, urethra dilators? How bored does one have to be?

But oh well, some of you of the it-hurts-soooo-good-crowd will do, what you will do; no matter what the warning labels say. So having found one's self in an awkward position, how does one cope? Here are a few words of wisdom; really they're the only ones I could post without getting all NC17; from Tristan Taormino:
No matter how red in the face you are about your predicament, if you're in a situation you can't get out of (like handcuffed together without a key) or that involves your body (and pain or foreign objects), then you need to call a locksmith, go to the emergency room, consult a professional.
(Link Read the whole thing it's quite a chuckle.)

Of course, if you'd been consulting a professional, preferably one with the letters "PsyD" following his/her name, you might not have gotten yourself in such a fix in the first place... Oh dear lord, I'm channeling my mother!

5 Ninjas, 1 Kitten and a Fifth of Vodka!