Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Fun with Academics

Ever crossed paths with an educator who was just plain 'out there'? Sure you have. Don't you wish you'd taped all those lectures? I sure do.

From ProfQuotes a collection of verbal misadventures:

The Wise Man
Let me pass on to you the three most important things I have learned about people in my many years: PEOPLE ARE CRAZY, PEOPLE ARE CRAZY, PEOPLE ARE CRAZY!
(Thomas McKechnie, American Political Process 0200
University of Pittsburgh, Pittsburgh, PA)
The Accidental Lech
1st Teacher: "What are you doing standing there?"
2nd Teacher: "I'm looking for a boy."
1st Teacher: "..."
2nd Teacher: "Haha, don't quote me on that."
(Mr. Atkins (2nd Teacher), Biology
Highgate School, London, England)
But, wait! There's more...

The Honest
I only made it through about half your papers, and then I decided to enjoy life and got drunk and stiff.
(Bob Warnick, CS 122
Washington State University, Pullman, WA)

The Frustrated
Maybe I could feed you a pint of whiskey and lock you in a trunk...it would probably be more effective in the long run.
(Clint Cole, EE 214
Washington State University, Pullman, WA)

The Indescribable
You are getting your money's worth from me. Come on, we've learned how to fish, how a hurricane forms, how to massage your Dolphin...I even taught you how give good orgasms. Try getting that from Astronomy!
(Dr. Chris Petrie, Oceanography
Brevard Community College, Titusville, FL)
The Comedian
The people who settled these islands just kind of started in Taiwan and sailed from island to island in their outrigger canoes, tossing consonants overboard as they went.
(Norvin Richards, 24.900 Introduction to Linguistics
MIT, Cambridge, MA)
The Autobiographical
I married a poet, then he became a political scientist and I got a divorce. That's the story of my marriage.
(Dr. Waters, Sociology Anthropology
Denison University, Granville, Ohio)
The Homicidal
So, picture me riding down the alley on my bicycle, Uzi cocked. That's why I have the cleanest alley in town; I kill the damn neighbours.
(Dr. Kathleen Heath, ANTH 204, Intro to Cultural Anthropology
Indiana State University, Terre Haute, Indiana)
The Optimistic
I've got a thing down here and a hole up here, so all I have to do is put it in the hole.
(Jim Huggins, CS-102
Kettering University, Flint, MI)

Filed in:

5 Ninjas, 1 Kitten and a Fifth of Vodka!