Snark of the Week:Grocery shopping and other misadventures...
This week's snark comes from Chris Pirillo
fame. You might want to read the entire thing if it's to make a lick of sense.
I should have spent most of my afternoon in the hospital. It all started when I went to the grocery store to pick up some low-carb bread (which is really tasty, although it doesn't have much of a shelf life). As I was walking down the soup aisle, a can of tomato soup flew off of the shelf and beaned me in the side of the face. As blood started trickling down my cheek and onto my lips, I was able to read the label on the container (which was rolling around on the floor): "Save money if you buy me today!"Read on...
Fair enough. I kicked it to the side and continued on my journey. By the time I reached the fruit aisle, the bleeding had stopped. I started to search for some spaghetti squash (another low carb treat) when I found myself sailing backwards onto the cold, hard floor. A stupid cantaloupe had rolled 'neath my boot. It, too, had a sticker on its shell: "Buy me and get another one free!" I didn't ask for the cantaloupe, so I pushed it away and headed to the checkout counter. I'll never shop there again, I swear. Things really started to get interesting on my way home.Sick of net ads that go pop? Read the rest of "Flying Food Frenzy".
I was no less than a twenty feet away from the store when a huge freakin' billboard came crashing into my windshield. I wasn't sure what was going on until I was able to make out the large lettering: "Learn how to drive carefully by taking this course." Ah, fair enough - it had my best interests in mind. I wish more signs would bother to be as invasive. The damage to my car was minimal, but I was still quite shaken (not stirred in the slightest). Trying to conserve energy, I rolled down the window and let the breeze pass through my vehicle. Someone was grilling out tonight - I could smell the charcoal. Steak started to sound good, so I found myself turning around and heading back to the store. That's when a t-bone flew in through the other window and landed on my lap. I was able to brush it off quickly, but now I have this horrible stain on my pants that I won't be able to get out - even if I send it through the washer a few times. In a blink, I was back in the same place that had abused me just ten minutes before. The store's name?
5 Ninjas, 1 Kitten and a Fifth of Vodka!