How to do a good drunk...

OR,

The 86 Rules of Boozing as laid out by Frank Rich.

8. When the bartender is slammed, resist the powerful urge to order a slightly-dirty, very-dry, in-and-out, super-chilled half-and-half martini with a lemon twist. Limit orders to beer, straight shots and two-part cocktails.

24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.

47. Nothing screams 'nancy boy' louder than swirling an oversized brandy snifter.

57. For every drink, there is a five percent better chance you will get in a fight. There is also a three percent better chance you will lose the fight.

71. It's acceptable, traditional in fact, to disappear during a night of hard drinking. You will appear mysterious and your friends will understand. If they even notice.

Yes, yes, all quite useful. The full list of rules can be found HERE; but please allow me to suggest a short addendum to #71.

• Should you, however, disappear in mid-booze fest leaving a hoochie-clad dorna! stranded many miles from home in the dead of the night and winter you are guaranteed an arse kicking.

posted by dorna! @ 9:00 am