That's right, yuk it up...I can't tell jokes. Correction, I can tell jokes, just not very well. No matter how spicy the punch line, once through the vortex that is my mouth, it all goes flat. I've had it explained to me by a professional teller of jokes; who delivered this assessment. "No, it's not your timing. You just suck, is all." Lovely. But what makes a good bit, anyway?
Some eggheads over in Britain created the project, LaughLab, a while back to look into just this question. After much study they announced they'd determined the location of the funny bone; which is inexplicably situated in the frontal lobe; and that the following was, world-wide, the top joke:
A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing; his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"Evil? Yes, but a humdinger all the same. You know what that means don't you? We're all going to hell.