Lucian Shell GameStep right up, step right up. Put your money down. Pick a shell to see if you can guess which basic utility you'll be graced with today. If you win you could get a 10 minute shower or the continued safety of your food supply!
Oh! You picked Shell 1, sorry Miss that's flickering lights but no water from 6pm to 6am with a brief stoppage from noon to 4.45pm. Try again, you look lucky to me.
Oh! You picked Shell 3; that's the combination muddy water plus brown out, black out, kiss your appliances good-bye option. Come on, you're not really trying. Put your money down. What? No wait! Hang on, don't leave Miss. I'll give you a break. Pick any shell. I'll turn over an empty one, so your chances of winning go way up.
Whoa! Wrong again! You picked a doozie. That's right; not a watt, not a trickle, but your phone's on! Tsk tsk, pity about the rates though.
Now pay this bill within the next 15 days or we will be forced to arbitrarily select a service for disconnection. Please note that resumption of said service will be dependant upon payment of the outstanding amount in addition to late and reconnection fees, determined by the selection of any number between 2 and 54 and factored to the power of 8.
Thank you for playing. Please come again.