Saturday, June 04, 2005

"But I don't like Spam!"

My winning USD1.5M in a micro lottery I never signed up for aside, just how stupid do these people think I am?
From: Mr Pesto Estrada []
To: Me
Date: Jun 3, 2005 11:30 AM
Subject: thanks

Dear Sir,

I am the confidant of the ex-president of the Philippines (Mr. J. Estrada) who was removed from power as you may know. He has secretly in formed me to contact you and to liase with you to invest the sum of $9M (Nine Million Dollars) which he deposited in a bank during his tenure.

Now the procedures are that you will be given the contact of the bank so that you will contact them to open an account online where the money will be transferred into from his account since he can not come out in the open to use this money. After you open this account, I will order the bank in a written form to transfer the money into your own account after which you can then transfer it to some other account in your place for sharing.

Upon request by you I can send to you the certificate of deposit of this amount for your assurance. We are willing to be conceded up to 25% of the total sum to you for all the anticipated help from you hoping that it will cover all your expenditures before and after the
transaction. However, we will desire that you will help us invest our share till we will be free to meet you up in your country for further talk with you if this proposal is Ok by you,
please write me back via this address ( so that i
can give all in formations.

Regards .
Mr Pesto Estrada
I've always been of the opinion that if you're going to do something, do it right; and that's inclusive of the illegal. I can't countenance incompetence. A few things I'd like to point out to these amateur grifters who feel the need to make a mark out of me:

1. I'm not a 'Sir'. A minor distinction, I know, but one which matters to me for some reason.
2. I'm savvy enough to know that a ".za" email address hails from South Africa (the self-same geographical region from which I received appeals to 'help out' the Zimbabwean refugee farmers, former Liberian President Charles Taylor, and sundry exiled Nigerian generals) and that the "reply-to" address is being provided by an Israeli portal outfit. Now while Mr. Pesto, presumably a Filipino, may well have a South African email address and the rest; it smacks of the dodgy.
3. Pesto? I mean really.
4. And while we're discussing names, is "Estrada" the Philippine equivalent of "Smith"?
5. No one in their right mind, disgraced political figure or not, would hand over $9M of indeterminate currency to me and expect 75% of it back. If Joe Estrada was my boy, he'd know that I have bills.

I'm just trying to give y'all a sporting chance.

5 Ninjas, 1 Kitten and a Fifth of Vodka!